You shouldn’t have to live a lie
I just got an interesting email that I have to respond to, but the author sent it in a way that I can’t reply directly to him. I’m hoping that he’ll see this.
“I want to share with you a secret that I am very ashamed of and that I have never told anyone before. I tricked a girl into a relationship with me, based on a lie, a lie that is lasting for as long as we have been together, 12 years by now.
I AM A GINGER LIVING IN DENIAL
11 years ago when we first met I was living in denial already, either dying or shaving all my hair off. We fell in love and I never told her. I destroyed all evidence (pictures as a child…. Made sure all my relatives would keep their mouth shut…) I know that she would leave me the minute she find out.
Over the years she has made many hateful comments towards gingers or even when we are just watching tv and there is a ginger person on she says how much she is disgusted by male gingers. I just laugh along.
Tho I could never marry her on that lie let alone have children with her. I couldnt do that to her. I dont know where this is going, has me depressed most of the time.”
Wow. Just, wow.
I have to assume that this is a real letter. I know plenty of redheads would be mad at you, but brother, I just feel bad for you. You shouldn’t have to live a lie, I can’t imagine what that would do to you. Ulcers over time, probably. To say the least.
Not to be too self-serving, but I really think you should click the “buy” button in the top right corner and watch my film with her. Just tell her that a friend recommended it and you thought it looked funny. There’s enough serious stuff in it that it could open her eyes a little. And please write back to me. I won’t use your name, but I’m genuinely interested in how this will play out.
Good luck.
-scott
6 Comments
She really doesn’t sound worth it. But that of course means nothing, if you’re in love.
I’m thinking she already knows though. Unless he’s a hairless guy, or often and thoroughly shaves his entire body, it would be hard not to notice, during an 11 year intimate relationship.
I’m actually stunned that somebody can live with a lie this long. Red hair is something to be proud of!
I myself have regular brown hair, but I always had a fascination for red hair. Every red headed boy and girl got always my attention.
And now I have to beautiful children of my own with red hair, so I feel myself very blessed. Every day I can cherise the beautiful red hair.
So please, make an end of this lie and tell the truth! The girlfriend doesn’t really love you if the colour of your hair is a problem. It is the inner you that counts!
(and be proud of your beautiful red hair)
Regards,
Judith
If you grew up, experiencing that any attention you ever got for your red hair, was always negative, you would understand.
It’s not so simple, that you can just be proud of something that has always haunted you, just because someone says you should be.
J, you are absolutely right. Ofcourse I can not know the way it feels to have red hair and being judged for it. I’m sorry if I made it sound simple.
But I know what it is to be bullied about something (unfortunately for years…) and I know that you can make stronger the older you get. If only you would want to and make an effort to do so.
Every single person is worth fighting for, especially yourself, no matter the colour or anything!
Shocking! How old is he? Does she love him? I have blonde streaks in my hair and was fully blonde for a while but always tell ppl I’m a redhead and stand up against anti redhead/ginger comments. I would never live a lie.
Feel for him but how long can this lie continue? Unhealthy and really bad for his self esteem. Also a relationship based on a lie can never work.
What a mess
Psssshtttt…Women hide their natural state from men ALL THE TIME. Make-up, waxing, hair dye, squishers, uplifters, tuckers and tints.
I bet if she didn’t wax her tache she could join in with Movember:
Would he find that disgusting? - More than likely.
Is she ever going to tell him? - Hell no.
Does he make jokes about “bearded ladies” - Who doesn’t?!
What do women do? Wait until we’re married, then let it all go and blame it on the menopause